let my words be few

After my vocal surgery on Monday, May 12th, I spent 4 days in complete vocal silence–no talking, no singing, no clearing my throat, no LOL (laughing out loud). That also meant no “I love yous” to my wife or kids. No “goodnights.” No “good mornings.” I even had a special message on the unlock screen of my phone (picture below) so I could inform people that I wasn’t just being rude when I didn’t speak to them. I did pre-record “I love you,” “goodnight,” “good morning” and a few other handy phrases in the Voice Memo app on my phone. My iPad served as my dry erase board when I needed to communicate. I also got by with charades (often, humorous) and sign language–I know most of the ASL alphabet (also humorous). A text-to-speech app was somewhat useful, but if I was involved in a conversation, usually by the time I had what I wanted to say typed, the subject had changed.


The most interesting time for communication was days 5-7 when I could speak 1 or 2 words at a time occasionally throughout the day. I found myself distilling my thoughts down to 2 words. After 4 days of silence, my first 2 words were saved for Suzanne: “love you.” That night, the whole family was gathered so I could say, “g’night, loveya.” (That’s 2 words, right?) According to Proverbs 17:27, I am pretty smart: “The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint…” Just kidding!

It was actually easier to be totally silent than it was to speak at a level 2 (talkativeness scale from 1 to 7 with an average person being a 4). Suzanne and I went to a pastors and wives retreat during that time and it was difficult to be someone who “uses words with restraint”! I tend to be more of an introvert, but the retreat was held by the discipleship organization 3DM that we have been involved in for the past 2 years. It was difficult to restrain my words in talking with other leaders about my passion–discipleship!

Having to restrain my words did cause me to ponder what our world would be like if words were in limited supply. Ecclesiastes 5:2 says, “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.” What if we only had a limited number of words we could say everyday? I’d like to think that gossip would become much less of an issue. Maybe people would be more trustworthy. One thing is for sure–if words were in limited supply, much more thinking would occur before speaking. And there would probably be much less hurt caused to others by our words. Are you willing to say with Solomon–the wisest man who ever lived–“let my words be few”?

approachable Father or Holy King?

The title of my blog is Perpetual Tension. I chose this title because of the many aspects of our faith that followers of Jesus must hold in healthy tension–being in the world but not of the world, trusting that Jesus was 100% God AND 100% man, etc. If we allow ourselves to lean one way or the other, we can become ineffective and out of balance.

Recently, I came to the realization of another such area that we must hold in a healthy tension. A few weeks ago I wrote a blog entitled The Father’s Character. It is based on a prayer method that uses The Lord’s Prayer to focus our own prayer time or prayer life. I learned this method as a part of the 3DM discipleship process I am currently a part of. This prayer method is detailed in that blog post so I won’t rehash it here, but it brought to light a tension that likely many believers might have out of balance in one direction or the other.

The Lord’s Prayer begins, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” That first sentence is the source of a significant tension between viewing God as Father and God as King.

First, Jesus instructs us to pray to God our Father in heaven. This is by design as it speaks to us of the approachable nature of God. In other passages of Scripture, we are called the sons and daughters of God. We have incredible access to the Holy God, the Creator and Sustainer of everything. He invites us to come to Him as a child comes to a loving father, to crawl up on His lap and experience His loving embrace.

But, as the sentence continues, we see that God is also a Holy King. He is separate from us, above us. Other passages of Scripture admonish us to fear God. He has a will that we are to abide by and our own wills are at war with His will. We are to align ourselves with His will not fashion God to our own liking.

Herein lies the tension. Yes, God is an approachable, loving Father, but He is also a Holy, Righteous God who is far above us and separate from us. If we lean too far to one side or the other, we have an inaccurate understanding of God. If we err too far to the approachable Father aspect of God’s character, we may not have a healthy fear or respect for God. We might also act or continue in some sort of sinful behavior because “God will forgive me.” When taken to an extreme, we can begin to view God as a benevolent grandfather who loves to have us sit on his lap so he can pat us on the head and give us candy. It’s not just individuals who can fall into this faulty thinking. Churches who are too heavily skewed toward the approachable Father aspect of God’s character can give people the impression that God loves them just the way they are (which is true), and that they can stay just the way they are.

If we err too far to the Holy King aspect of God’s character, we can fall into a performance mindset–that God is primarily concerned about our good behavior, and that He somehow loves us more because of it. We might be riddled with guilt over our sin and feel like He can’t (or shouldn’t) forgive us. At the most extreme, we can begin to view God as distant from us “way up there” and that He is just waiting for us to make a mistake so He can hurl a giant lightning bolt to zap us. Again, churches can fall into this type of faulty thinking and begin to preach a message of legalism and adherence to a bunch of rules out of fear of the judgement of God. People in churches who lean heavily in this direction can end up with people who have no intimacy with God–no personal connection with Him. This is, of course, just as dangerous as the opposite scenario.

I grew up in an environment that leaned pretty far toward God as a Holy King. Let’s just say there were a lot of rules and, honestly, I can’t remember anyone speaking of their personal relationship with God. It was more about the things we didn’t or shouldn’t do–even if there wasn’t a verse of Scripture that addressed the issue. It was an environment that emphasized outward performance over inward transformation. As a result, to this day, I am skewed slightly more toward God as a Holy King than as an approachable Father. Sometimes I am uncomfortable around people who lean a little more toward God being an approachable Father and I am tempted to pull out my virtual “list of acceptable behaviors for Christians” from my past. I am learning that this is another area of perpetual tension that I must hold in balance.

What about you? How do you view God–more as an approachable Father or more as a Holy King?